Batman vs Eddy's Candy Schams
by Windrises
Summary: Batman tries to stop Eddy from robbing candy stores.


Notes: Batman is owned by DC Comics and Ed, Edd, and Eddy is owned by Warner Bros. and Cartoon Network. This story is dedicated to Burgees Meredith, Frank Gorshin, and Victor Buono.

Bruce Wayne looked at the sky and saw the Bat Signal. Bruce said, "I better hurry. It seems like the police might need a lot of help."

Alfred Pennyworth replied, "Try to not get hurt too badly this time sir."

Bruce said, "Frankly Alfred it's not like I run up to the villains and beg for them to beat me up." Bruce got on his Batman costume and rushed to the police station.

Batman said, "Greetings Jim. What's going on?"

Commissioner Gordon replied, "We've got a trio of troublemakers in Gotham."

Batman asked, "Is it Joker, Penguin, and Riddler?"

Commissioner Gordon said, "It's a different trio Batman. They're called the Eds. They used to just scham the kids in their city to get quarters, but recently they've been robbing various candy stores. They recently went to Gotham. They've already robbed one candy store."

Detective Bullock walked up to them and said, "They've robbed more than one. They robbed at least two."

Batman replied, "I'll take care of those candy crooks."

Meanwhile Eddy and his two henchmen, Double D and Ed, broke into another candy store. The Eds were a few years older than they were when they did more innocent schams in their city. Eddy said, "This crime wave that I started has turned out better than any of my previous schams. We've already robbed five cities. We're going to have more candy than anybody else in the world." Eddy did an evil laugh.

Double D replied, "But going to Gotham was a really bad idea Eddy."

Eddy angrily said, "How dare you question my intelligent schams."

Ed said, "Eddy's the smartest leader."

Double D asked, "Shouldn't we be concerned about dealing with Batman?"

Ed said, "Batman's awesome."

Eddy proudly said, "I'm the master of schams. A superhero that has no superpowers would lose to my wrath. That's enough talking. Start taking the candy gentlemen." The Eds started grabbing candy from the candy store.

Batman burst into the candy store and said, "You punks better surrender."

Eddy replied, "I'm not going to do that you unhelpful superhero."

Batman noticed that Double D was afraid so Batman said, "Stopping you will be an easy thing to accomplish." Batman punched Double D in the face. Double D passed out. Batman put handcuffs on him.

Eddy angrily said, "He was such a weakling. He's a true disgrace to my team. I hope that Ed can get rid of Batman."

Ed walked up to Batman and said, "I'm going to beat you up."

Batman replied, "Yeah right you fool. I'm going to be the winner of this fight." Ed punched Batman across the room. Batman was surprised by Ed's strength, but Batman fought back by punching Ed into a wall. Ed passed out. Batman put handcuffs on him.

Eddy said, "I'm ashamed of my sidekicks for not giving you a more proper fight Batman. Thankfully I can take care of you." Eddy used a sneaky candy device to trap Batman in a straight jacket that was made out of candy.

Batman replied, "You're a messed up troublemaker."

Eddy said, "Your words flatter me Batman. It was somewhat of an honor to deal with someone who can challenge my wrath." Eddy grabbed the candy and his sidekicks. He ran out while doing an evil laugh.

Batman used a device in his utility belt to get out of the candy straight jacket. Batman said, "I'm going to win my next battle with Eddy."

Meanwhile Eddy and his sidekicks were in Eddy's hideout. Eddy walked up to Double D and Ed and said, "You did get the honor of being saved by me. However that doesn't that you'll continue to have the honor of working with me. That's why I brought in my advisor to decide if you'll get to stay on my team."

Johnny and Plank went into the room. Double D asked, "Is Johnny your advisor?"

Eddy said, "I couldn't trust that wise guy. Plank's my advisor."

Ed replied, "Excellent choice Eddy."

Eddy asked, "Should Ed and Double D get to stay on my team Plank?"

Johnny said, "According to Plank you shouldn't let them be on your team anymore."

Eddy replied, "Okay. You're not on my team anymore Ed and Double D. Johnny and Plank will take you to the police station." Eddy did an evil laugh.

The next night Eddy broke into another candy store in Gotham. He said, "This time I don't have Double D's mind or Ed's strength to help me. Well I truly doubt that I'll need those punks." Eddy started grabbing candy.

A few minutes later Batman went to the candy store that Eddy was at. Batman said, "I'm going to make sure that you don't ever get away with schams Eddy."

Eddy asked, "How did you know which candy store that I would break into?"

Batman said, "I'm a smart detective. I did enough research to figure out where you would go to next." Batman looked around and said, "It seems like you have nobody to help you this time."

Eddy replied, "I never needed Ed and Double D's help. I was the one who captured during the last fight."

Batman said, "But most of your success in the scham business comes from Double D's common sense and Ed's muscular power. Without them you're not much more than a greedy wise guy."

Eddy proudly said, "Well I'm going to defeat you. Prepare to get defeated by my sneaky powers." Eddy kicked Batman. Batman grabbed him and threw him into a wall.

Batman replied, "You lack proper fighting skills."

Eddy said, "I'm the master of winning when it comes to schams." Eddy threw bags of candy at Batman. The candy bags barely hurt Batman.

Batman replied, "You're going to pay far more than quarters for your crimes." Batman grabbed Eddy and punched him a few times.

Eddy sighed and asked, "How come I didn't win?"

Batman said, "You lacked a skill needed for success: teamwork."

Eddy replied, "But you ignore help from other superheroes."

Batman said, "Actually I'm in the a great superhero team. They're pretty nice to work with, not counting Superman."


End file.
